When Love is Gone

This poem reflects one's anxiety about what his future holds once all of his support systems are gone. One-by-one people who have provided him with support that he has never felt from the majority of his surroundings die, leaving him scared about whether or not his passion for life and for his career will slowly fade as well. as a result, he has a wish to be stricken with illness so that he can leave this earth and be with the people he loves and who loved him.

Everyone I admire past and present,
those I have cherished from the best of my days,
through the obstacles of my life,
from one end of the tunnel to the other,
as I face the worst of times,
I watch them die one-by-one leaving me lonely,
 uncertain, and in despair.

Here I am, destitute, no food, no money, no shelter;
The only thing that keeps me going is love, touch,
and the caring voices of those I carry close to my heart.
All I can do is watch them fade,
slowly dying until they are in my life no more.

When love is gone will my passion for life perish as well?
Drowning myself in alcohol, I pray that cancer takes me to;
Through physical pain I will experience,
eventually, I will succumb to mental anguish
I have been fighting for years.
Finally, I will be at peace in heaven
with those who loved and believed in me the most.

Paul Hickey
11-9-11