Felled Disdain

This is poem that involves tremendous emotional turmoil in one's life and fear of being able to conquer his mood swings. "Felled" mean fierce and "Disdain" means to look at with scorn, thus the title "Felled Disdain". The first line, "Termination floods over an importunate spleen" means an individual who is normally strong being troubled and over come with emotion. "Of all inheritance reigns implacable scars" means that the pain is so deep that the emotional turmoil cannot be cured. "Forlorn" means loneliness, thus "Forlorn in dizziness of pain" means living with loneliness while battling the severe emotional turmoil. "I've been gnashing at grievance of disdain" means one is sick and tired of feeling emotional turmoil, so he battles it everyday. "Outgoing in pendulum ways" means that one is very active but very flaky as a result of his moods. "Felled entwining needles sway", "Cuts and needles cradle me away", "Times of winter blinded by rain" mean that the flakiness is painful and very disruptive of his daily living. The final stanza talks about judgement and other people stigmatizing him as being mentally ill. Why are they calling him mentally ill. Why won't they help him?

Termination floods over an importunate spleen,
of all inheritance reigns implacable scars;
Forlorn in dizziness of pain,
I've been gnashing at grievance of disdain.

Outgoing in pendulum ways,
felled entwining needles sway,
cuts and bruises cradle me away,
times of winter blinded by rain.

I've seen the sane bar manic listings of I as one,
being brought forth to be sustained,
"Why"?
This question has been defined deranged!

Paul Hickey
11-23-11