Gone Away

This poem talks about how the pain felt in life is burdensome while being alive. However, after I am dead the pain will be gone.

Alone in this world, where am I going?
I use to smile and feel alive.
Now all I wanna do is cry.
Fire use to surge through my veins,
hot and non-extinguishable flames.
Now coldness of thought is where I choose to stay.

Covers pulled up over my head,
in darkness let me sleep;
Let me never see the satisfaction of light in shining,
just leave me to shiver in peace.
Let every friend cease to exist as numbness haunts my brain,
here we go, a familiar place, it is happening all over again.

Failing to reach my goal in life, depression quickly prevails,
as I dread the wake of morning to see the light of day.
Support from those who matter, seem to me nothing but distant lies,
and lost inside myself, I only want to die.
Been here so often I have no problem saying goodbye,
when in turn, I ascend, I shall not shed a tear
because on this day, I would have left behind this burden gone away.

Let my mind and teeth rot away, I cannot afford the healing,
left behind by foe or friend, I'm running out of time.
Destitute, short of breath, tightness in my chest,
every bone in my body stiffening with pain,
engulfed in flames just let the life in me melt away
so that this burden has gone away.

Tears forever fall slowly within a catatonic stare,
As desperately I search for ways out seeking revenge
on those who leave me behind time-and-time again;
Let the hammer fall on those who point fingers at me,
give me strength to throw it back in their face,
shall my Hell turn to Heaven because God knows I will;
I'm taking down names of those who dare betray,
I will remember, I will seek action, I will bury them until my dying day,
when in turn, I ascend leaving behind this burden gone away.

Paul Hickey
2-13-12